Thank you for entering the 100 Word Challenge this week. You’ve created some super images in your writing, I love the sound that you begin your writing with and I also love “the blanket of sand”.
Well done!
Mrs Stones – Bradford, U.K. http://bradfordschools.net/blog/miriamlord100wc/
Dear Alyssa,
Thank you for taking part in this week’s 100 Word Challenge! What a nice little story you’ve written! You’ve used some great descriptions that really helped me paint a picture of the scene in my mind. Some of my favorite phrases were: waves swaying from side to side, a blanket of sand burned their feet and the flood invaded the beach.
One suggestion I have for you is to make sure that your verbs are all written in the same tense. You said Sam and Bob “went” to the beach so they “can” have fun. To make them both in the same tense it would have to say they went to the beach so they could have fun.
Great job! Keep up the good work!
Mrs. Schmidt – Team 100 WC
Grade 3 teacher
Pennsylvania, USA
Good story aliyah
i like the story because of the adjectives you used
keep it up
Hi Aliyah,
Thank you for entering the 100 Word Challenge this week. You’ve created some super images in your writing, I love the sound that you begin your writing with and I also love “the blanket of sand”.
Well done!
Mrs Stones – Bradford, U.K.
http://bradfordschools.net/blog/miriamlord100wc/
Dear Alyssa,
Thank you for taking part in this week’s 100 Word Challenge! What a nice little story you’ve written! You’ve used some great descriptions that really helped me paint a picture of the scene in my mind. Some of my favorite phrases were: waves swaying from side to side, a blanket of sand burned their feet and the flood invaded the beach.
One suggestion I have for you is to make sure that your verbs are all written in the same tense. You said Sam and Bob “went” to the beach so they “can” have fun. To make them both in the same tense it would have to say they went to the beach so they could have fun.
Great job! Keep up the good work!
Mrs. Schmidt – Team 100 WC
Grade 3 teacher
Pennsylvania, USA