Great ideas Angelina. I like the line: There were mountainous waves surrounding us.
Well done for including an adverb and speech.
Tip: read over your work to check for missing punctuation and spelling mistakes.
What a dramatic story! Being aware of the power of tsunamis (giant waves), I suspect this is what your character experienced. Survivors report seeing something coming towards them then realising it was a wave of water and then being swept away. For many, the wave brings tragedy. Well done.
As I read your story, I imagined the fear of being swept up by mountainous waves, the loss of a loved one, the fear of being alone, and he relief when reunited. Being able to create images in the minds of readers is an important writing skill. Again, well done.
I can see the care you have taken care with spelling and punctuation although there are some minor errors I think you missed when rereading your story. Small punctuation and spelling errors are easy to make when typing a story. I usually have to reread my writing more than once to find the errors I make.
The end of your story brought hope when you were reunited with your sister but also left us wondering if you both will survive. Leaving the story with questions is a good technique for inviting readers to use their imagination or seek answers. I hope you continue entering the 100WC so we may have a chance to find your fate in a later prompt. Keep writing.
Ross Mannell (Team 100WC)
Teacher (retired), N.S.W., Australia
This is my favourite entry this week! What a great imagination you have and a fantastic way of describing your scenes! I could see the tsunami in my mind as I read your work and felt the heartache that your main character felt when she thought she had lost her sister! I also really loved your vocabulary choices!
My only advice would be to re-read your work before you publish to pick up those little spelling and punctuation mistakes! Otherwise, I can’t wait to read more of your entries!
Great ideas Angelina. I like the line: There were mountainous waves surrounding us.
Well done for including an adverb and speech.
Tip: read over your work to check for missing punctuation and spelling mistakes.
Hello Angelina,
What a dramatic story! Being aware of the power of tsunamis (giant waves), I suspect this is what your character experienced. Survivors report seeing something coming towards them then realising it was a wave of water and then being swept away. For many, the wave brings tragedy. Well done.
As I read your story, I imagined the fear of being swept up by mountainous waves, the loss of a loved one, the fear of being alone, and he relief when reunited. Being able to create images in the minds of readers is an important writing skill. Again, well done.
I can see the care you have taken care with spelling and punctuation although there are some minor errors I think you missed when rereading your story. Small punctuation and spelling errors are easy to make when typing a story. I usually have to reread my writing more than once to find the errors I make.
The end of your story brought hope when you were reunited with your sister but also left us wondering if you both will survive. Leaving the story with questions is a good technique for inviting readers to use their imagination or seek answers. I hope you continue entering the 100WC so we may have a chance to find your fate in a later prompt. Keep writing.
Ross Mannell (Team 100WC)
Teacher (retired), N.S.W., Australia
Hi Angelina,
This is my favourite entry this week! What a great imagination you have and a fantastic way of describing your scenes! I could see the tsunami in my mind as I read your work and felt the heartache that your main character felt when she thought she had lost her sister! I also really loved your vocabulary choices!
My only advice would be to re-read your work before you publish to pick up those little spelling and punctuation mistakes! Otherwise, I can’t wait to read more of your entries!
well done you were named in the special showcase
by andro
were is that
Here: http://100wc.net/category/special-showcase/page/2/
Scroll down to Week#20 Showcase and you will see your name 🙂