Well done Georgia, you are the very first pupil from our school to ever enter the 100wc. I am very proud of you.
I like the way you have repeated words for effect- ‘tried and tried’ and ‘coming and coming and coming’. Did you ‘magpie’ that idea from a book you have read, or story you have heard?
WOW what a fantastic piece of writing but the one thing you can improve on is to describe some things like at the start you wrote beach if you want to be a good writer then describe the beac
Well done on your 100WC. You certainly gave me a sense of an incredible volume of water, and you left me wondering whether Mack was going to be safely rescued or not!
To make your writing even more exciting, it would be great to describe the water or the beach. Was it dark? Foamy? Perhaps you could tell me what sounds it made?
Well done Georgia, you are the very first pupil from our school to ever enter the 100wc. I am very proud of you.
I like the way you have repeated words for effect- ‘tried and tried’ and ‘coming and coming and coming’. Did you ‘magpie’ that idea from a book you have read, or story you have heard?
Miss Baker
WOW what a fantastic piece of writing but the one thing you can improve on is to describe some things like at the start you wrote beach if you want to be a good writer then describe the beac
Well done on your 100WC. You certainly gave me a sense of an incredible volume of water, and you left me wondering whether Mack was going to be safely rescued or not!
To make your writing even more exciting, it would be great to describe the water or the beach. Was it dark? Foamy? Perhaps you could tell me what sounds it made?
good piece of writing you can be a little bit more descriptive
Georgia that is a good pice of writing
from servite rc primary scoool yr3