Thomas Eiger Recount

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1 Response to Thomas Eiger Recount

  1. MrsHames says:

    Well done Thomas!

    You worked really hard with Mr Fitzgerald to improve the first draft of your diary entries, before you blogged them.

    I am impressed to see that you have included lots of technical details, as well as plenty of Sin Ranulph Feinnes’ feelings, to interest the reader. I can also see that you have some good examples of sentences in the past tense and the future tense. I really enjoyed the descriptive language you used when you wrote about the sunrise- especially the simile.

    Next steps-> To make your diary writing even better, you should try to use more ambitious feelings vocabulary. What words could you use instead of happy or sad to be more precise in the second diary entry?

    Mrs Hames

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