jakes magical hall

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6 Responses to jakes magical hall

  1. diazs says:

    just when i read the the two paragraphs and i was already hook.
    what is a orge?
    a bit of more punctuation especially explanation mark

  2. darlene says:

    I enjoyed the story, I like when you described the ogre even though I don’t know what is a ogre. what is a ogre? You can improve it by adding more connectives in the last paragraph.

  3. Javena says:

    I liked your story because it had loads of adjectives and because it was very eye-catching.
    What is a ogre?
    Next time you could improve exclamation marks like instead of it being after a speech you could maybe put it after a sentence not a speech.

  4. Josh says:

    I love your ending sentence with an ellipsis.

    What is an ogre?

    I would suggest to use darker colors and to not underline.

    WELL DONE JAKE!

  5. Anonymous says:

    You used really good punctuation at the wright time.

    To make it even better you should use different words instead of Natallia.

    Would you like to go on an ADVENTURE like that!!!!!!!!!!!

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